He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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