would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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