4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
