HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
