the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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