that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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