NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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