real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
