she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
