y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Let's paint friendship bongs
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
