Pappa wants mamma naked
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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