Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
