You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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