UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
