I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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