I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
