I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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