the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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