In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
