i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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