Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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