That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I need to align my fucking chakras
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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