Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just tell him i said nine months
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
