i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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