Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
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