We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
