Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
