Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
