That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
