I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
