I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Duck Duck Cougar?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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