It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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