drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
