Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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