Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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