And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
