if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
