I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
