Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize