3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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