I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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