We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
