You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
