I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
