Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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