Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
