Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
