just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
