do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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