I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
