I got chris browned last night
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
bring money and cleavage
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
