Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
