i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
