OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
