Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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