oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
