she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
