I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
