I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My ass is underappreciated
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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