i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
