Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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