i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
