We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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