Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
