the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
