the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
