thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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