I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
