I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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