is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
