I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
