I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
