This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
