He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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