Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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