Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I party with great urgency now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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